“Darlings, first, let me explain. The What If is not a Fairy but he is magical. And, oh, does he like to roam. In fact, he roams so much, he’s our country’s what-if-a-lo. Although where your buffalo roam and our what-if-a-lo roam are two distinctly different places. You’ll see. But first let me tell you more about the What If. I know what you’re thinking, a What If? Isn’t that how I begin a question whenever I’m wondering about this or worrying about that? See, most of you already are quite familiar with the What If. You just didn’t know there is an ACTUAL What If and that he’s an eavesdropper who knows exactly when to fly inside you to persuade you to ask the question that bears his name AND that he must be at that post inside you precisely before you’re about to wonder or worry. Imagine a buffalo attempting that? Now do you see? And, darlings, never forget! Though What Ifs may be as tiny as atoms, they’re as mighty as atom bombs.
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